His Type
by Lady Kagewaki
Summary: ONE SHOT Abarai Renji and Izuru Kira are brand new Shinigami on a dull assignment. Renji casually steps into private teritory and Kira reveals something unexpected. How will Renji react?


Renji Abarai and Kira Izuru were fresh out of the academy and both on their first assignment. They weren't out in the field sharpening their Zanpaktuo skills, but in the Seireitei standing guard at the entrance of an administrative building. It was dull work, but the two young Shinigami didn't mind as they were brand new. They mostly greeted officers and higher ranking Shinigami and checked id's.

Their conversation was usually pretty interesting, but Renji felt he really didn't know much about Kira personally or much about his family. Only that he was from a lower district in Rukongai.

Kira felt he may know more about Renji than he should, including his personal escapades. He always enjoyed hearing about them, but couldn't deny there was something indecent about it. Kira had a hard time admitting to himself that he envied Renji and how open he was with everyone.

"How was your weekend, Renji?"

Renji laughed and said "It was good. Veeeery good. And yours?"

"The same, a bit on the uneventful side. Though I did see Hinamori and we had some tea with her parents. They're lovely people. What did you do?"

"I ended up at a celebration out in Rukongai. I bumped into some adults I knew as a kid. They were still their scummy selves, treating the kids like dirt." Renji got serious and said "I pounded 'em and told 'em if I ever heard of them hurtin' kids, ever, I'd come back and finish the job."

"Sheesh, Renji, you really belong in the 11th squad. I can't understand how you ended up in the 5th" said Kira shaking his blonde head.

"Then I went back to the party and got drunk as hell. I figured it would be the last time I really could since I was going to start such a serious training program. No drinking, no junk food, no…" Renji sighed and said "No women."

Kira raised his eyebrows and said "Are you sure about that?"

"Ah, I'm sure. I have to be more powerful and I can't do that being distracted by every skirt that walks by."

"Not even Matsumoto?"

"Not even Matsumoto and her enormous boobs…nope…" Renji swung his arms and clasped them in front of himself, then swung them back to his hips. He got distracted by the thought of the fair haired vuluptuous woman and Kira laughed. Renji snapped out of his day dream and yelled "Dammit Kira! I'm trying! Don't mess it up!"

"Hahaha, I'm sorry, I just...You've always been serious about training, Renji, but I just have never seen you so serious. Why now?"

Renji stared straight ahead almost as if he could see his goal realized and it was 20 feet in front of him. "I have a goal in mind, Kira, and I thought hard about it. I have to give up these things to achieve it. It's as simple as that." Renji snapped out of it and slapped Kira on the back "I'll have to live vicariously through you! Hahahahaha!"

Kira became nervous, but Renji didn't pay any mind. Kira was always nervous about something. Renji thought it funny at times and at others was glad that Kira was so careful and attentive to details. They balanced each other out well. "So Kira," Renji ran a critical eye over his comrade "when's the last time you got laid?"

"Abarai-kun!" exclaimed Kira.

"Just askin'. Just curious. If you're going to take up my life of debauchery then I have to make sure you're up to the task" snickered Renji.

'So free and easy. At times I wish I were like that, but most often I don't.' "That's…that's not something I like to talk about Abarai-kun."

"You're a handsome guy, Kira, I don't think it would be all that tough. You're not the type for meaningless one night stands, but it might do you good. Clear up some of those nerves" said Renji waving his hand.

"Abarai-kun! How can you talk so freely about these things! They're delicate matters!" said Kira.

Renji ignored him and continued. "You have plenty of friends who are girls, why not pick one, and take it to the next level? Eh? We've got to find you a girlfriend and get you laid."

"Abarai-kun!" said Kira nervous a superior might hear their conversation.

Hinamori was walking by on her way to lunch when she saw Renji and Kira. Renji was tactful enough not to bring up his plans for Kira to Hinamori in such a blatant way, but he did know how to get the girl on his side. "Say, Hinamori-kun, I think we need to get Kira a girlfriend."

"Abarai-kun!" said Kira in a drawn out fearful way. 'Hinamori-kun is a sweet innocent girl! I hope he minds his tongue!'

"Kira-kun! I think that's a great idea, guys!" she said. "What kind of women do you like, Kira-kun?"

Kira's face went red and he said "I…uh…well…"

Renji saw Kira searching for the right thing to say and thought he'd try and help. "That's kind of hard. You don't always know until you see her, right Kira-kun?"

"Right" said the young blond man rubbing the back of his head.

"I'll try to help find you a nice girl, Kira-kun. I'd better go, I don't want to get you guys in trouble for socializing on the job" winked Hinamori and she left.

"Do you…uh…have a thing for Hinamori-kun, Kira? I always thought you guys would go well together" said Renji satisfied with the idea of his two friends from school making a couple. 'They'd be a nice looking pair. Cute kids. She wouldn't make him too nervous.' Renji nodded to himself and looked to Kira for confirmation.

"No, no, She's nice, but not really…my type" he said avoiding eye contact.

"Oh." Renji thought on it for a few minutes and said "Yeah, she's cute, but kind of too cute. I think you need more of a womanly figure, eh?"

"Well, I don't think that's really…uh…" Kira's nerves began to get the better of him, again.

Renji slapped Kira's back again, snapping him out of a circle of neurotic habits. Finger tapping and even a tad bit of twitching. He chuckled at Kira and said "It's not a big deal, Kira. You're a man, and you're allowed to enjoy a woman's…assets. Let's take a look out there." Renji gestured to the courtyard in front of them. "So, when a girl walks by you tell me what you like about her."

"Abarai-kun, I can't--" started Kira

"No, I don't want to hear it. Just tell me!" said Renji almost losing his patience.

Rangiku Matsumoto walked by and waved to the two young Shinigami. She had just received a higher seated position, but was yet to be a Vice Captain. Renji waved back and she moved on. Renji said "Not much not to like there. Vuluptuous body, gorgeous face, hair, eyes, smart, fun, powerful, etc etc. The list goes on. God she's hot. Eh?"

"Shes…well…not my type either" said Kira looking away.

Renji frowned in thought "Hmm" 'Matsumoto's a bit intimidating. Maybe Kira needs a more average type…with cute boobs, like apples or something, not so much the watermelon type.'

Renji spotted another woman and pointed her out. "How about that one over there? She's a bit young, but has a nice lean body, eh? Is that what you're into?"

"Eeeh, not really…" said Kira not even looking at the girl.

Renji frowned in concentration. "Hmmm. I'm not doing well here, why don't you point out what you like when you see it?"

Kira looked at him with large worried eyes. "I don't think—"

"It ain't about thinkin', Kira, it's about seein' something you like and pointing it out. You don't need a reason, you can just say so."

"Right" said Kira and he swallowed. "I just don't think you will expect it when I point it out."

"huh?" Renji shrugged it off figuring he'd understand soon enough.

Shuei Hisagi and Nanao Ise met in the courtyard and were discussing something out of earshot. Kira said "There, that's what I like."

"Oooooh. The stern librarian type? Hehehe, has Kira been a bad boy, eh? Hahaaa! She's a cutie, and you were right I never thought you'd be into that!"

"Uuuuuh, well, Abarai-kun, you're wrong again. It wasn't Ise-san that I was referring to."

"Heh?"

"I'm not really into Hisagi-san, persay, but more so than I am Ise-fukutaicho."

"Heh?" said Renji just grasping what Kira implied.

Kira became more comfortable after it was out there and said "I'm not really into the bad boy type, more along the lines of someone similar to myself. Polite, gentle, but powerful. Being handsome is important, but—"

"Heh?" said Renji interrupting Kira, not wanting to hear anymore.

Kira laughed nervously and said "Do you understand what…I'm…saying…Abarai-kun?"

"Yeah. I'm pickin' up what you're throwin' down." Renji cleared his throat and leaned on his sword like a cane in front of him. He didn't look at Kira, and was hard to read at this moment. He wore a pensive face.

There was a long moment of awkward silence and Kira suspected the worst. 'He hates me. He's going to tell everyone, and I'm going to be beaten up, and it was a mistake, a big mistake, I should've just gone along with his little game and said Matsumoto was hot, but then it probably would have come off disingenuous, and, and, and…'

Renji glanced at Kira and saw his friend staring at the ground, eyes full of fear, and on the verge of one of his panic attacks. He then saw a few Shinigami, 3 men, walking across the courtyard. "So, uh, Kira-kun" he gestured towards the group with his chin. "Which one?"

Kira was surprised that Renji asked and was relieved. "It…you're okay with it?" Kira asked haltingly.

"Whatever" said Renji. "Your type is your type. It doesn't change what kind of person you've been. You're a good guy and you still need to get laid."

Kira sighed with relief and pointed out the he found most attractive. "Why him?" asked Renji confused.

"I don't know. He looks, mmm, refined."

Renji shrugged and was about to ask a question, when Kira gasped. "What?" asked Renji his hand immediately going to the hilt of his new Zanpaktuo.

"Hinamori-kun! She's going to try and find a girl for me!" Kira looked at Renji with panicked eyes and said "I'm not ready to tell her, yet, Abarai-kun! I'm not ready, I'm just not ready!"

Renji relaxed and said "I don't think Hinamor-kun is going to remember. She'll bumpt into Aizen-taicho and forget everything."

Kira chuckled at what Renji said and replied "Yeah, I guess you're right."

Renji mimicked Hinamori in a high pitched voice and walked in place "I've got a mission. I've got to be in the 5th division!" He stopped his walking in place and said to Kira in the Hinamori-voice "You're so luckyyyyy, Abarai-kun to be in the 5th division. You're soooo lucky to work with" Renji put his hands up on his checks and crossed his eyes "Aizen-taiiiiiicho!" He sighed and repeated "Aizen-taichooooo!"

Kira laughed and sure enough Hinamori forgot their conversation later that afternoon when she bumped into the 5th division captain on her way home for the evening.

The End


End file.
